Sabbatical in Ukraine 2021

WARNING! Long poem ahead. Last one I promise.

Strong Shower

Kyiv is a cold shower

Where the rushing stream of faceless blank white stares

pierce your body so abruptly and without warning

forcing you to step away and abide to their will

You must concede

A flowing black sea of anonymity

The jarring glares of beautiful smileless bodies

weathered by extremes

of relative poverty and rising fortune

Desperate looks glancing across the river

from frigid concrete apartments

where few peer dare to gaze

from the left bank to the mainstream

that flows certainly toward nowhere

Maybe McDonalds

The handle twists and squeaks ever so gently

Now feel the warmth as it gently grows

hot now with the happier steam of hope

Relief as the radiator finally provides

the promised warmth of a stable government

where joy can safely return

to playground places where people laugh

Where hooded kid crows unveil their curiosities

just for fun

In this city of extremes

somewhere down the Andreyevsky Descent

on the cobblestones of history

there’s a café

where faces display neither despair nor giddy false pride

Where peacefully placid people

are content to drink weak coffee

and bask in the dullness of reality

And smile

Now lift the handle

and pressure rises

Punishing pelts smack your skin

As the grimy residue of subways and city air

washes away

A new skin revived

Wonder returns

I wonder

Was it always my choice to twist or lift?

To adjust the temperature

without a thermostat to dial it in

Just twist or lift

Find that fulfilling degree

where your mind can drift

amidst foggy memories

and bold steaming passions

A shower strong enough to cleanse

but soothing for these old bones

NOTE TO THE LONG-TERM TRAVELER TO UKRAINE

Living in Ukraine, in one of these common apartments where most people live, is almost exactly like living in a college dorm with 1 roommate, so you can imagine and that’s accurate), except the food is fantastic and everything outside is nothing but interesting people and sights galore (but also lots of booze). You don’t have a dryer but it doesn’t really matter because you wear the same shit 2 or more days in a row. And you’re never in it, really. No TV. Like a dorm, you have to get out everyday by elevator. Security babushkas serve as the dorm monitors and gatekeepers (but they can be bribed by smiling while trying to say “DABRE DANE”, they find it quite amusing, some giggle). DON’T FORGET TO INGRATIATE YOURSELF, YOU GODDAMN STUPID AMERICAN, WITH THE SECURITY BABUSHKAS! YOU MUST BREAK THEM!) But you can’t drink the water from the tap. And you have to wear slippers all the time.

Anyway,

This blog was always intended to be simply to get me in the habit of writing again, something I don’t have as much time to do while not on sabbatical, and to practice writing in this style, but also to have a permanent record of my thought process as I experienced it while here. So, knowing that nobody is reading this doesn’t bother me at all, that was never what this was about. It was about personal reflection, and man did I have some quality time in reflection while here – especially when it was 3 weeks of freezing weather and no heat! Imagine me/us curled up into a too-small wool blanket at night, watching my/our breath as it turns to steam while sleeping in my/our creaky almost kinda comfortable twin bed. Somehow nice, no complaints.

So here’s something I’ve been working on since I got here: my list of “10 Things I Miss About the U.S.”

The most important thing I learned in creating this list is that the order of importance was constantly changing and also how easily I got used to not having things on the list, most of which fell off the list entirely, so the list has evolved to include Things I Love About Ukraine as well 😊

One reason for this blog is for me to read later to see how I’ve changed, because Tanya and I are considering buying an apartment here so we can stay here in Kyiv every year for a couple months, and maybe even retire here. There’s so many advantages to the idea. It might sound crazy but once you are here these advantages become apparent. I just wasn’t sure if I could handle missing all those things in “the states” (funny how I would never refer to the U.S. this way, only when I’m here), but it seems like I can go without (almost) all that stuff! And we could live like kings here on my meager salary (26:1 on the dollar), which makes it even more attractive as an option. I’m still debating this option, but the more I do, the less I find reasons not to do it! The commute from Decatur would be challenging.

10 Things I Miss About the U.S.

(in order of importance)

1. Good Music

Thank God I remembered to bring headphones and lots of music with me because I really do not care for the musical preferences of the Ukrainian people (as a whole, not individuals). This is totally a personal bias of mine based somewhat in the fact that music is actually a pretty big part of my life (even though I do not play any instruments or sing worth a shit 😊 I listen to music everyday. Every. Day. All the time, in the car, shower (but never the toilet), yard, bedroom, kitchen, living room and basement. Everywhere. So being without good music, for me personally, is a fucking Shakespearean tragedy.

So, on that note, please allow me to introduce you to some of my favorite music by my favorite bands, mostly a mixed bag of cross-genre sounds. I’m talking about the music you can’t really label by a genre, like this band from Portland, Oregon. (keep it weird, Portland!)

Below are just 3 or 4 of these modern blends (there are many more), the ones I happen to dig, mostly some cross of jam band-metal-reggae-folk-guitar rock-funk-hippie hop-trance, or some combination within. There are also different varieties of house/trance sounds, funk and R&B, Rap, Country, etc., I just don’t know them. American readers could chime in here, I’m no expert.

A couple questions for my Ukrainian readers [or SKIP TO 2]

First, I’ve searched online and can’t locate even a single music festival in Kyiv, have I missed something? Something like this (Bonaroo)?

https://www.nashville.com/event/bonnaroo-music-festival-tickets-manchester-tennessee/

Second, where is the live rock, blues, metal or folk scene in Kyiv? I cannot find it anywhere in a city of 3 million! The only venue I saw was this band at Docker Club, this bar (Tarantinos) with live rock, and a funky little club called Pink Freud that we checked out, but they did not play any pink floyd, just more Ukrainian disco, food was good. And if opportunity arises, maybe this gay bar (Lift), just to see what’s up? I also dig these Ukrainian and Russian bands (they both represent cultural movements, actually):

Pussy Riot

Metal scene in Ukraine

Latexflauna

So, Do Ukrainians have any music like this (below), live or otherwise?....

Thievery Corporation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewHRPWaipBQ

Black Pumas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G383538qzQ

Dispatch (jam band)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRdvKSD3Bro

Spearhead/Michael Franti (funky hippie hop)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpgBqHj3tLM

People Under the Stairs (trance-a-delic)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOku8L_a4_w

Jack Johnson (modern acoustic folk, island)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqUdI4AIDF0&list=RDEMxccx_5InRpdFcMn-G89RDA&start_radio=1

Tool (trance metal)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nspxAG12Cpc

Rage Against the Machine (an oldie but a goodie😊

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ

2. 2 My dog, Sabby (the Russian word for dog is собака, pronounced “Sah-bak-a”, so we named her Sabby). I’ve had to just put her out of my mind, too hard to think about how much I miss her every day (singing “Turn it Off” from The Book of Mormon play right now). I hope she has done the same. I’ll be home soon though, baby 😊

3. 3 A yard with nature around me

Houses come and go, and I’ve lived in all kinds of them over the years (26 to be exact), but not having a backyard and a deck is something really foreign to me. Living on the 10^th floor of an apartment, you can’t wake up and step outside to get your first morning breath of fresh air. I didn’t realize how much I need that! I have found my meditation groove though, on an old wooden table that sits on the enclosed balcony overlooking the city. And I miss my morning walks in nature with Sabby too!

4. 4 Clean drinking water from the tap

If you have the luxury of being able to drink tap water from your kitchen sink, you should take a moment to appreciate that fact. Lots of other people around the world, the majority of people actually, do not have this luxury. I’ve had to grab these empty jugs, travel down the elevator of death, walk 200 yards to a filling station down the street (and pay $$ each time), and carry these (heavy) jugs back several times a week since I’ve been here. For most people around the world, they must get their drinking water this way, or worse, have to boil it first.

They say, “water is life” and most everyone would agree. But if you are from “the states”, you probably don’t really appreciate your fresh water supply. I can’t express how much I appreciate having clean, filtered water out of my tap at home now. I’ll never take it for granted again! Enjoy your next glass of fresh water and take a second to thank the universe for having that.

5. 5 A dryer

They have washers (tiny little washers), but no dryers, so you have to hang your clothes on a clothesline on the balcony. It’s time consuming and an inconvenience that I will never get used to, an annoying hassle.

6. 6 Cannabis

It’d be nice to be able to smoke a bowl once in a while, especially with my arthritis. I think my med card expired while I’ve been here too. Wake up, Ukraine. Stop smoking so many cigarettes (they kill you) and get a dispensary for Christ’s sake (Ukrainians smoke A LOT of cigarettes)!

7. 7 Hot Sauce

Most Ukrainians do not like spicy food of any kind and it’s a challenge to find it at restaurants. Forget about Sriracha hot sauce, it doesn’t exist here. Update: I did find tobasco sauce at the Silpo and they’ve got this Georgian stuff called Ajeca which is spicy!

8. 8 A good shower with a shower curtain

A nice long, hot shower is something I look forward to everyday (especially with my arthritis), so not having this luxury is more than inconvenient, it’s a reduction in my quality of life and I miss that time to soak and breathe. And since I think baths are just sitting in tepid, dirty water for an hour, I only take showers (because I’m a grown-up). With no shower curtain, you can’t avoid getting water on the floor, so it’s always a mess.

9. 9 Air conditioning and heat

In the beginning, this would have been on top of this list, but you get used to it. I’ve had a mild panic attack when it was hot and humid when I first got here and couldn’t turn on the A/C (and no fan), and another one later when it got down to 39 degrees (Fahrenheit) at night, but it’s not hot anymore and it’s surprising how warm you can be at night with a good wool blanket, nyet problemo now. But I do miss the ability to control the household temperature, for sure.

10 10 My car

There are moments when it would be nice to have my whip, but overall I’m enjoying being driven around by others and using the subway, taxis, etc., knowing this is a temporary inconvenience.

Things that almost made the list but I got used to not having them:

A microwave, Keurig coffee machine, and toaster. Like other things such as a dryer, the time consumed doing more mundane things is kinda annoying, including having a microwave so I don’t have to warm up my breakfast this way (on the stove), or make coffee this way (with this European thing-a-ma-jig), but you’d be surprised at just how quickly you would adapt to being without these appliances. And it help you to slooooowww doooooowwwnnn a bit.

Good beer. They have some decent craft beer now so its not a craving I’ve had in previous trips to Ukraine.

Peanut butter toast and a bowl of cereal in the morning. I actually don’t eat breakfast very often anymore so no biggie. And there’s tasty alternatives to toast here. And I found peanut butter!

Fox News. Nothing to get irate about anymore! Just kidding, it’s so nice to be rid of the feeling that I have to see what lies they are promulgating today! By the same token, I don’t miss CNN either (and I can get Democracy Now and recorded clips of NBC,CBS,FOX online).

I realize I didn’t mention friends and family. That’s a given and too large an issue to discuss in a blog. Suffice to say, I miss them but know that they are there waiting for me when I return, so it’s not something I feel the need to dwell on. Three short months is a blink of the eye in family/friend time, and they know that too.

Things I Love About Kyiv and Ukraine

Have you ever noticed that the vacations you remember the most fondly are the ones that came with a certain amount of agony? As far as vacation adventures go, the fact is, you are less likely to recall all those hours laying on a beach somewhere than the time you got lost in town and had to roam around aimlessly asking strangers for directions (and only getting bad ones) only to discover that the event was yesterday and not today. But on the way home you met this wrinkly old lady who had an amusing story about an American who mistakenly thought the “men’s club” they were going to was a playhouse for a theatre, and later in the conversation discovering that the old woman used to perform at a burlesque show, the same one you ended up at later that night. Or that time you took a sketchy cab ride into a bad part of the city where you thought the fancy Thai restaurant was, only to find yourself at a moldy-smelling hot dog stand where you had the best time, laughing it up all night with strangers you met at the stand and later followed to a much more lively nightclub where you danced all night. Meeting strangers on the street, beach, or club is the best way to turn a hum-drum afternoon into a lifetime memory, and it always starts with an assumed disaster about to happen that you imagine is going to ruin your plan and your day. It almost never does, and anyone who has spent such time on trips like this, especially ones overseas, knows exactly what I’m talking about.

First, I love the European flair of Kyiv. This city is historic, like 2,000 years of it, and you feel its presence everywhere you go, not unlike other major European cities like Rome and London. Like anyone else who’s been to Europe, you MUST return, again and again. I’m not much into religion but anyone has to be impressed by the cathedrals here, like these, such history!

And I will return to Kyiv, no doubt. In fact, maybe we’ll retire here! Did I mention that it’s 26:1 on the dollar and that my dentist visit (where I lost a cavity which needed replacing and cost me $36 total, no insurance required?)

Culturally speaking, there are a few things I’ve mentioned before about Ukrainian culture that, in my opinion, are FAR SUPERIOR to the U.S.

First, is family life. From what I can tell, there is just more of it, and families appear to have stronger bonds than the typical American family does, evidenced by the fact that the parks and playgrounds are constantly in use, all day long (outside of school) and into the night, with parents and their children playing with other kids, socializing. And like in the U.S., parents take their kids to sports events, clubs and other fun activities. I’m sure some kids are at home playing video games and watching TV, but it doesn’t seem like they do as much of that here. Tanya confirms this observation but of course I can’t say for sure. I only see what I see on the streets every afternoon.

Ukrainians are healthy and hard working on the whole of it. Any American who comes here will notice just how beautiful, healthy and in-shape they tend to be, more so than us overweight, unhealthy Americans. I’ve previously remarked about how many gorgeous women are here, and I don’t want to sound like a pervy old man, but DAMN there are so many pretty girls here, many of whom seem not to know that they would be models in America. And they dress to the nines. Walking down Andreevsky Descent, the main drag for trinkets downtown, the old cobblestone road, you can see women walking it in HIGH HEELS which is quite a feat, and they do it with grace. Oleg’s girlfriend walked this street in very high heels and didn’t stumble once, very impressive!

And I see a lot of people diligently WALKING to work every single day, rain or shine. There’s a growing problem with cars and traffic here in Kyiv to be sure, but this concrete jungle definitely still requires a good deal of footwork, which I’m sure contributes to the overall good health of the culture. I just wish they’d stop smoking cigarettes (something I’ve talked about before)! I suspect they will start to see the folly of adopting TOO MUCH of Western cultural habits in the years forthcoming, we’ll see, but today I can’t help but notice the McDonalds/KFC/Dominos Pizza on every corner that weren’t here before (Starbucks is coming to a corner near you!), and I want to scream at them and say SLOW YOUR ROLL, you don’t have to consume all of American culture, just take the best and forget the rest!

As Kyiv and Ukraine continues to march in lockstep toward Western democracy, which is a step in the right direction as far as I’m concerned, I’d just like to be able to tell them to SLOW DOWN! I mean, literally, slow the fuck down. They walk too fast. It’s quite jarring and awkward on the streets because people do not move out of the way, and they turn into you as abruptly as they cut in front of you which, even in American cities, would get you into a fistfight many times. They are always in a hurry and pay no mind to you, or where you are walking, as they go. It’s like a game of “chicken”. They will not alter course if you’re in a direct crash course into them, forcing you to stop and change direction to allow for their path. It’s quite annoying, but it signifies their earnest desire to take care of business and get shit done. For that, I can respect. But since nobody smiles on the streets, it can come off as rude and angry. And, as I’ve previously mentioned, the traffic rules are the same way (there are no traffic rules). But herein lies a cultural difference I’ve learned to respect as well.

These people do have warmness about them, once you get to know them, and once you understand that city rules are a little different here than in the U.S., just different, no better and no worse. I’m a country boy at heart so I’ll never be fully acclimated to city life. I prefer being alone in the wilderness, or at least with few people around to bother me, and that will never change, but I’ve learned that I can be at home here. It’s just a different kind of home that takes someone like me a little longer to adjust to. But once you start to feel the rhythm of the streets of Kyiv, you can start imagining a life here, and all the perks that go with it – the culture, the arts, the action of the city, the subtle diversity, the energy. The music? Yeah, not so much!

The hardship is palpable here. These people struggle and life is normally hard here. But from the roots of hardship grow fruits of love. Love for what matters. Family and friends. This is the treasure you’ll discover here, behind the cold, concrete apartment walls. Here is where families make dinner together almost every night, nurturing lifelong bonds that will carry them through more of the pain of existing in a place normally without. As the march Westerward, I just hope they know better than to consume more than just the material, and remember to nurture that love even more, as more becomes more available to them. Squeeze tightly your independent soul, Ukraine, and don’t let go.

do pobachennya Kyiv, see ya soon!

(до побачення)

Lastly, just some updates on stuff I addressed in previous posts:

About Kyiv’s poor air quality/pollution: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni_M8kflaqQ

Fighting for a Greener Ukraine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obxGLL5uOlY

More about Chornobyl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgqB6XTNSQ0

Average monthly income of Ukrainian/Kyvian residents: $523 (US dollar)

Final bird count:

BIRD LIST FOR UKRAINE

Aug-Sept 2021

1 Great Spotted Woodpecker